The Gift of Fear
 | The Gift of Fear author: Gavin De Becker asin: 0440226198 binding: Mass Market Paperback list price: $7.99 USD amazon price: $7.99 USD |
"True fear is a gift.
Unwarranted fear is a curse.
Learn how to tell the difference."
Not a how to book but still the absolute best buy in the self defense market place - you will not go wrong taking a good look at his analysis and advice which will help you to predict violent behavior.
This book is full of true, emotionally charged stories of violence upon innocent victims. These stories are analysed so we may understand the why’s and how’s of violence that we may prepare ourselves better to escape it when it visits us.
It really is a “book that can save your life.” It really does have an answer to, “Why me?” on the social level.
As a US #1 best-seller, you probably have heard of it and maybe have read it. Read it again. If your mind is your best weapon of self defense, you don’t want to be out of ammo by falling back into slack mental habits.
This study of pre-incidence indicators, the detectable factors that occur before the outcome of an incident, is deep and involving. De Becker explains what our intuition is and how it works and then teaches us how to look for common pre-incidence indicators, (survival signals), to be able to better predict outcomes.
His list of Survival Signals should be memorised and probably even practised with a partner. Remember these?
1. Forced teaming - the word “we”
2. Charm and Niceness - used to compel by allure. “Niceness does not equal goodness.”
3. To many details - how people give away their lies
4. Typecasting - labelling the victim to get the desired response
5. Loan sharking - helping someone to gain advantage from their feelings of obligation
6. The Unsolicited promise - Hear a promise? Ask yourself, “Why make that promise?”
7. Discounting the word “NO.” - “Perhaps the most universally significant one of all!”
Have you been practising listening for these things in your daily tour of your environment? A reread may be in order or, if you have not read this book, get it now.
These days, violence in the work place is so common that going postal needs no explanation. Students at schools and colleges on killing sprees are horrendous reminders of how close we and our children are to violent confrontations.
Here is De Becker’s quick list of survival signals for potential work place or school violence:
16 Warning Signs of Potential Violence:
1. Inflexibility. The employee is rigid, resists change, wants it his way.
2. Weapons. Has recently obtained a weapon, has a weapons collection, or makes frequent reference to weapons.
3. S.A.D. Employee is frequently Sullen, Angry, or Depressed. Signs of depression include suicidal statements, sadness, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, weight changes, fatigue, loss of appetite, insomnia or excessive sleep.
4. Hopelessness. Statements like "What’s the use?" "Nothing ever changes anyway." General pessimism.
5. Identifications. Employee identifies with or even praises perpetrators of violence. He is attracted to violent films and books, magazines like Soldier of Fortune, or gruesome news events.
6. Co-worker fear. Co-workers are afraid of or apprehensive about him, whether or not they can articulate the reasons.
7. T.I.M.E. Employee has used Threats, Intimidation, Manipulation, or Escalation toward management or co-workers to get his way.
8. Paranoia. He feels others are "out to get" him, that unconnected events are related, that others conspire against him.
9. Criticism. He reacts adversely to constructive criticism, shows suspicion of those who give him negative feedback, and refuses to consider the merits of any critical observations about his performance or behaviour.
10. Blame. Employee blames others for the results of his own actions, and refuses to accept responsibility.
11. Crusades. He has undertaken or attached himself to crusades or missions at work.
12. Unreasonable expectations. He expects unreasonable things, such as undeserved promotions, and apology, a large raise, being named "the winner" in some dispute, or being found "right."
13. Grievances. He has a grievance pending or a history or filing unreasonable grievances.
14. Police encounters. He has had recent police encounters or arrests, or a history of assault or behavioural offences.
15. Focus. He has monitored the behaviour, activities, performance, or comings and goings of other employees, thought it is not his job to do so; or he has maintained a file or dossier on another employee; or has stalked someone in or out of the workplace.
16. Contact. If he was terminated, he has instigated and maintained contact with current employees. He refuses to let go and appears more focused on the job he just lost than on finding other employment.
Please don’t think that you have his message and advice from this short review. That would be a great mistake indeed. The book is incredibly full, and deeply applicable to our culture. It must be studied to be appreciated.
The "Best Companion" for this book:
Total Awareness: A Woman’s Safety Book
